We've Reached Peak Fake Vent

"Matt Brown" (superfastmatt)
07/24/2019 at 09:50 • Filed to: None

I think it was about 2008 that I looked around the local auto show and realized a particular design feature that I dislike had reached ubiquity. It started a few years prior to that, but had slowly ramped up to be on every front corner, around every fog light, and running the length of the bottom of every fascia.

Fake vents. Everywhere.

How did they get there? Was it just lazy design, or was there a bevy of consumers looking through JC Whitney and saying “I just wish this crap came from the factory.”

They’re unnecessary, but that isn’t what makes them objectionable. Their real offense is their dishonesty. They imply a brake duct for nonexistent brake cooling, or a lower vent for an intercooler that isn’t there.

They are injection molded lies.

I’m not lamenting all fake vents. I understand the desire to have a grille at the front that is visually bigger than what is needed for cooling. The opening looks big, but up close some of the little diamonds are closed. Fine, a little white lie, like those shirts that have an extra collar sewn on the inside so it looks like you’re wearing two shirts.

Recently it has been taken to a level that my thesaurus says is unconscionable. The new Supra has eight of them, and that’s not even counting the fake portions of the front cooling vents. The current Honda Civic is 8 0% fake vent by surface area; so much so that I have a hard time thinking that won’t look absurd in the future.

However, I believe that this trend has seen its peak and is on the decline. First off, we don’t really have anywhere else we can go but down. Will the next Supra have 14 fake vents? Can you imagine the next generation Civic with bigger vents? They would start to run into each other, creating a car that is nothing but one large fake vent. The fake vents would take over real vents causing a thermal management catastrophe. It’s unsustainable.

Second, the reverse trend is already starting; The new Ford Mustang has two grills, two vents on the side of the fascia, and two on the hood. And they’re all functional! All of them direct air from one place to another. The new Corvette has several large vents all over the car and they all appear to have some function.

The fake vent is one of those things that comes out of a compromised car where the designers hand off their baby to the engineers who muck it all up with “aerodynamic efficiency” and “cost reduction” and “we don’t actually need four square meters of cooling area .” It has become so common that it will almost certainly be one of those things that dates a car to the twenty-teens, and that will make it impossible for designers to use in the future.

Hold on friends; we’re at the beginning of the end. I’m confident that a few short years from now I will be walking around the auto show, relishing the lack of fake vents. Also probably bemoaning whatever new lazy design fad has taken over. Fake headlights? Fake engine covers so your electric motor looks like a V12? So help me god, if you bring back faux woodgrain vinyl I’m setting the conference hall on fire.

DISCUSSION (37)

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > Matt Brown
07/24/2019 at 09:55

I take pride in the fact that, to my knowledge, none of my 4 cars have fake vents

SWEENEE > Matt Brown
07/24/2019 at 09:57

That’s why I love Mazda.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Matt Brown
07/24/2019 at 10:04

My car has a fake vent across the entire back.

By which I mean it’s styled to look like the grill, just like the headlight surrounds have a little extra “vent” around them .

Kinja'd!!!

(stock photos)

It compounds this heresy by having little fake vents on the rear quarter.

Kinja'd!!!

(also stock photo)

In fairness, the car is “et up” with chrome and these details are subtle in the grand scheme of things.

dtg11 - is probably on an adventure with Clifford > Matt Brown
07/24/2019 at 10:05

Both my 2005 Acura TSX and 2009 Infiniti G37x have fake vents. I guess they were ahead of their time

wafflesnfalafel > Matt Brown
07/24/2019 at 10:05

it’s just the big tail fins of this century, same with the fake exhaust exists

KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time > Matt Brown
07/24/2019 at 10:10

Fake exhaust are more egregious. Case in point, SQ5

I mean for crying out loud, it ’s an S model at least give that real exhausts outlets

Kinja'd!!!

DAWRX - The Herb Strikes Back > Matt Brown
07/24/2019 at 10:11

I think part of the reason they’re so common because cars have so much surface area now (high beltlines, hoods, etc.) that they have to break it up to make it look interesting, whether it be with lots of creases and hard angles or fake vents...or both.

There’s also the idea that because crossovers have become so popular that the people who still buy “cars” are the kind that want something “ sportier” or something that stands out more, and manufacturers are playing it up to appeal to that market.

Future next gen S2000 owner > Matt Brown
07/24/2019 at 10:12

All fake vents are bad. Extra large grills for the sake of my car makes all the horsepower are dumb as well.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever
07/24/2019 at 10:16

Fog light surrounds on the FiST.

SaigaShooter - He's got an Impreza > Matt Brown
07/24/2019 at 10:16

Technical question: What if, as in the case of my base model Impreza the “fake vent” is just there to plug a hole where the fog lights would go? Is that technically a fake vent or is it on the same level as a switch blank, there to remind you that if you werent so cheap you could have nicer things?

Tapas > Matt Brown
07/24/2019 at 10:20

We haven’t reached the peak yet. Manufacturers will soon list number of vents like a feature, akin to cup holders.

They will put lights in it.

They will sell trim options on it (chromed, black, body color or base plastic)

They will make different designs from it.

Eventually, the industry will actually sell an abortion of a car that’s “so sporty”, it’s one giant vent. It will have openings only for windows and headlights. And maybe one door...

It will be named, A-vent-a-door.

jmgadget > Matt Brown
07/24/2019 at 10:33

As two of the cars that are commonly called boats because of their size and slab design, The Challengers and Chargers all have functional vents/grills, some of which are cleverly hidden in the fog light surrounds.

The fake hood vents on the Kia S tinger make my eye twitch.

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
07/24/2019 at 10:56

I know, but they are just plastic light surrounds. I don't think most people would agree they are fake vents

Matt Brown > DAWRX - The Herb Strikes Back
07/24/2019 at 11:00

Definitely agree on both counts. I think the danger of having big body panels that aren’t broken up is that everything starts to look like a minivan. But even the minivans have fake vents now.

Matt Brown > SaigaShooter - He's got an Impreza
07/24/2019 at 11:02

That’s a fake vent that requires you to buy the optional fake vent delete (aka fog light).

Matt Brown > KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time
07/24/2019 at 11:05

Fake exhaust is worse for sure, I just don’t think we’ve even approached peak fake exhaust. I bet w e will see it on some electric cars in the near future.

Matt Brown > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
07/24/2019 at 11:09

I dig the rear fake grill; that looks good. The side vents are meh but they do go with the jet exhaust tail light motif. All around good looking car.

DAWRX - The Herb Strikes Back > Matt Brown
07/24/2019 at 11:11

Take the civic hatch for example (which is what my wife drives lol) that rear end is so massive it almost needs them to avoid all that open space. I tried to find a photoshop of that that would look like but the internet has failed me.

Its not great but it’s what we got. And when you’re making payments on it it grows on you lol

Matt Brown > wafflesnfalafel
07/24/2019 at 11:14

I’ll admit I like the big tail fins, perhaps just for nostalgia reasons . Fake exhaust exits, however, are a motoring sin.

Matt Brown > Tapas
07/24/2019 at 11:16

Kinja'd!!!

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Matt Brown
07/24/2019 at 11:18

Yeah, this was mostly a troll on your post, but also to highlight that even the most absurd surface area of fake vent can be done right, and with subtlety. And that fake vents have existed off and on for a very long time .

Hell, I mean, International had fake grill space in the late ‘40s.

Kinja'd!!!

Chrysler too, even earlier, as a going thing :

Kinja'd!!!

Pich, with Z32 now featuring Civic [Si] / No > Matt Brown
07/24/2019 at 11:19

hey, no pictures of my car!

just-a-scratch > KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time
07/24/2019 at 11:29

That IH would’ve been better without the fake grille bits. Those other two cars you posted, the fake vents/grilles are continuations of the design theme that look quite good. All of these examples are less annoying than the fake vents today IMHO.

just-a-scratch > SaigaShooter - He's got an Impreza
07/24/2019 at 11:30

Is it really so much more expensive to cover a fog light cutout with a small color matched panel?

just-a-scratch > DAWRX - The Herb Strikes Back
07/24/2019 at 11:32

This seems to be a good insight. I wonder if the high beltlines and overall larger bodies contribute to the big wheel trend too.

Matt Brown > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
07/24/2019 at 11:32

I’m totally down with having a grill that is visually larger than what is needed, especially when it is styled like that middle Chrysler pic. That looks great.

Mostly I’m just tired of the injection molded plastic with the little diamonds being on virtually every car, especially when there is no actual vent.

just-a-scratch > DAWRX - The Herb Strikes Back
07/24/2019 at 11:33

Too bad it isn’t more common to use more than one color to highlight shapes and break up large areas.

Bring back the two-tone!

DAWRX - The Herb Strikes Back > just-a-scratch
07/24/2019 at 11:47

Yes absolutely. My WRX rides on 235/45-17 wheels and honestly I think they look tiny sometimes. And in a world where you can get an accord on 19s they really are tiny.

Two tone looks better on cleaner lines. Like I think the Kia Telluride could pull off two tone very well. But then again I saw a new Silverado with one of those factory (I think it’s fa ctory) retro two tone paint jobs, green and white, and I hated it.

Car design in general is hard to pull off well. Glad it’s not my job.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Matt Brown
07/24/2019 at 11:55

Yep. Black to signify a hole that doesn’t exist *behind* a chrome detail is more pleasing than black plastic “behind” but-not-really a black mesh. In the one case, it’s a “lie” that supports an element that exists, in the other, it’s a “lie” that is actually part of, arguably, another “lie”.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever
07/24/2019 at 11:58

Then the Civics aren’t either.